I Affirm and Promote:

*The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
*Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
*Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth;
*A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
*The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process;
*The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
*Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

Weblog

Wednesday, 09 December 2009

Tuesday, 08 December 2009

  • Do the Smartest Women Have the Toughest Time Dating?

    [Cross posted in Feminist Atheists on Atheist Nexus.]

    Smart women are obviously flawed above average women, because we're smart, which leads to trouble dating, which is the measure by which we judge the value of a person. At least, according to Dr. Alex, who wrote Why Do the Smartest Women Have the Toughest Time Dating? Nevermind the fact that he doesn't actually offer up any statistics by which he measures his claim that smart women have the most difficulty dating. He is on a mission to rescue us from ourselves!

    1. Once a relationship with Mr Smartypants is under foot, often she unconsciously starts to compare and compete with him. She feels intimidated by his intelligence: "Is he smarter/more educated/more successful than me?" Now she's feeling silly when she doesn't know something, or tries to one-up him and have the upper hand. ... So stop competing, Ms Smartypants -- love is not a contest.

    Discussion Question (DQ): Do smart women engage in more unnecessary competition within relationships than average women?

    2. Let's say you're a CEO (or doctor, or lawyer, or some other authority figure). Your job involves managing people and telling them what to do. Occasionally, you have to cut them short and redirect their focus to what's important, or argue to make your point in a pivotal meeting. All in a day's work. ... According to Marianne Williamson's insight in A Woman's Worth, "In intimate relations with men, I want to major in feminine and minor in masculine."

    DQ:Yes, being bossy is rude no matter how you slice it. Still, do you feel that women should avoid taking charge in a relationship in order to be more feminine?

    3. Dating is not an afterthought for when you've taken care of everything else. As far as anyone can tell, deep, meaningful relationships are the most important part of life.

    DQ: Are women who don't put dating first missing out on the most important part of life?

    4. Smart women mistake a person for real fulfillment. ... If his company isn't fulfilling, you're probably with the wrong guy.

    DQ: Can fulfillment be found through another person?

    5. All women are master overthinkers; smart women just have extra brainpower to burn on it. So they're experts at twisting themselves into knots of doubt, indecision and self-sabotage.

    DQ: "All women"? Really?

    6. Newsflash from the cosmos: masculine things gravitate towards feminine things. So if you want more masculine things (e.g. guys) in your life, then cultivate your feminine energy. ... Receptivity is a quintessential feminine quality, so if you want more good men in your life, be receptive to their offerings.

    DQ: Do masculinity and femininity operate under the "opposites attract" principle?

    7. Smart women are waiting for love to show up versus showing up as love. ... If you're embodying joy, compassion and sensuality, telling him how great he is, making him feel like a billion bucks and the conqueror of worlds, you have no competition.

    DQ: Are smart women less full of joy, compassion, sensuality, and encouragement than average women?

    All in all, I think this is a parade of stereotypes against smart women which we can do without. What do you think?

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

  • What is your Gender?

    [Cross-posted from Gay Atheists on Atheist Nexus.]

    As a feminist, I think about gender a lot, but not always for the reasons people assume. While I recognize that females have legitimate physical sex differences from males that we must never trivialize, I also cringe when I see how society loves to perpetuate the gender binary. So, what is gender? Here is an excerpt from a very good essay (click link to read the rest):

    COMPONENTS OF GENDER

    A core component of Queer Theory is that gender is performative, but if this was necessarily so, it would invalidate transsexualism from the outset. Since the treatment of gender identity disorder recognizes that the brain cannot be sufficiently changed and that the body must be altered so it aligns with the mind, it seems that at the very least identity is a factor of gender outside the sphere of performance.

    Androgynes are a sort of transgender people with the gender identity of both a man and a woman or neither. For them, the notion that sex is between the legs while gender is between the ears is key. Because they are neither men nor women, these non-binary gender variants are most expediently differentiated as male-born and female-born. The remaining categories are intersex, M2F (male-to-female transsexual), and F2M (female-to-male transsexual). For more on androgynes, http://androgyne.0catch.com is recommended.

    From my own perspective as an androgyne, gender's makeup is comprised of gender identity, gender presentation, gender performance, and gender role. Gender identity concerns how you think, gender presentation how you look, gender performance how you act, and gender role how you contribute socially. Any of these aspects of gender can be mutually exclusive of another depending on the individual and/or circumstance. Gender presentation is like the flipside of Bornstein's gender attribution, since it hinges on how you yourself -- rather than others -- interpret your gender cues.

    While gender role tends to go with gender identity, it doesn't always. For example, there are male nurses and librarians and female security guards and construction workers who arguably have a traditional gender identity. It is also entirely possible to have a gender identity and gender role that does not match up with one's gender presentation and gender performance. Just because someone feels a certain way and performs certain tasks doesn't mean they have to look or act the part.

    Copyright 2006 Stephe Feldman

    Survey!

    1. What is your gender identity - how you think?

    2. What is your gender presentation - how you look?

    3. What is your gender performance - how you act?

    4. What is your gender role - how you contribute socially?

    My answers:

    1. Gender Identity - My thoughts feel genderless. From early childhood I used to contemplate how I didn't feel "right" as a girl, but then I knew I wouldn't feel "right" as a boy either ("cuz I hate sports" was my innocent rationale, haha). I saw no gender in others that represented myself, so I did my best to follow whatever path made me happiest. Though there are both straights and gays who identify genderqueer, I feel that my lack of internal gender is a strong contributor to my queersexual orientation. (Yes, I just made that word up. Isn't that special?)

    2. Gender Presentation - I look female. I am physically female and have no problem dressing female, since that is an aesthetic that I enjoy, though I wouldn't say I feel compelled to look female. Honestly, I don't feel very compelled to look any particular way at all. I tried wearing makeup in middle school, but I found it boring and useless. I've become even more lazy these days: I shop for mostly black clothes to simplify my options, and most mornings I don't even remember to brush my hair!

    3. What is your gender performance - how you act?
    Um... well, I really couldn't say. I think that my performance encompasses many masculine traits as well as feminine ones, though probably heavier on the feminine side. IDK, I'd have to ask someone who isn't inside my head. Anyone want to tell me how gendered I act?

    4. What is your gender role - how you contribute socially?
    This answer is the opposite of #1 (genderless); here I am both genders in full measure. I was in the military, and now I'm doing clerical work while I study business and raise a child. I am all things to all people. ;)

Images

  • Visit Andrea_TheNerd's Xanga Site
    • Name: Andrea
    • Country: United States
    • State: Missouri
    • Metro: St. Louis
    • Birthday: 11/2/1986
    • Member Since: 1/7/2006
    • True

Pulse

  • I'm hired! For those of you who follow my personal life, I just scored a nice job in St. Louis. Life is good.

About Me

  • Hello. My name is Andrea, and I'm a Nerd. You can Skype me as The Nerd, poke me on Facebook as Andrea Semler, and stalk me on Twitter as Andrea_TheNerd. My email is private, earn my friendship before you ask.